We’ve come to the last bend in the river… the pausing place. The place where we remember. The thinking spot.

This kid. This is the one who has somehow escaped the pages of this journal for a month straight. I really do have one more kiddo… she really does exist. It’s just that I have to share her with the world.  She is all ours, yet somehow also belongs to so many more. Our youngest child… Leah.

She did it.

They did it.

We did it……...

We’re coming down to the end of this month-long journey. Some evenings, as the sun sinks into the horizon… I, too, just desperately want to sink into my bed.

Along the path I walk almost every morning, township employees are hard at work constructing a water runoff drainage ditch. It now appears to hook up to the huge retention pond nearby.

“Out West” packing is really happening! What used to be the plant room - is currently upside down with bins and boxes - a party room heading West. Saturday morning 5am is pull-out-of-the-driveway time for the girls. Twenty and twenty-one years old… friends their entire lives.

The gas needle moved to empty. The light came on indicating I couldn’t go much further without refueling. Thinking I was taking a shortcut, I quickly exited the highway before hitting the traffic backed up just ahead. And there I ended up in bumper to bumper traffic going absolutely nowhere.

Just as the sun crossed the horizon this morning, I quietly snuck into the garden to check on any progress there. It’s hard for me to be patient… I’m so eager to see how things are going to mature.

The sun sets quietly in the west… the day is done. We peacefully rest.

And in the shadow of the mountain, by the side of a rippling lake… little cousins dance in the moonlight - pretending to fish.

Awakened by a little white pup begging to begin her day before the sun woke up.. Zero concept of sleeping in on Saturdays…

A beautiful day to slip away to the farmlands for an impromptu field trip… I left the teenagers home floating on the lake with their paddle boards - while the college graduate and I toured Lancaster’s first Mennonite settlement.

As I drove Leah to work today - I passed through a familiar area near our home. The cemetery.

“And you promised me, ‘I will treat you kindly.’”

We went into the first round of state tournaments with low expectations for winning. And we didn’t. The kids fought hard, but the other team scored more points. There were these moments watching our son play today that grabbed my heart. My son… a man of such great character. 

What causes arguing and fighting between us? This question rolled around in my mind all day… kind of like a ship blown and tossed around in high waters. I wrestled - but felt like I kept missing the punchline. Missing clarity. 

I’m halfway through this month-long journal… This thirty-day journey of disciplined daily searching. Searching for the hidden amongst the mundane, the truth where much feels grey, and wisdom from behind all the noise…  

There is something magical and glorious about heading to the lake after a long day of planting in the garden. 

The little creek flowed quietly this morning along our morning path… The sun sparkled on the rippling currents - life moving on. 

I have finally found a moment this evening to hide myself away to write… And as I sit quietly, I reflect... Does anything stand out to me… anything noteworthy?

I’m not going to lie… I’m thoroughly exhausted tonight. It might be allergies or maybe a little too much running around these past few days - but just imagining myself being able to write anything coherent or of significant value feels downright impossible tonight.