May 30th, 2021
This kid. This is the one who has somehow escaped the pages of this journal for a month straight. I really do have one more kiddo… she really does exist. It’s just that I have to share her with the world. She is all ours, yet somehow also belongs to so many more. Our youngest child… Leah.
She came to us as a most unexpected surprise - sixteen short months after her brother. Quiet - never speaking much… she sucked her two little fingers and every once in a while - she popped them out to respond or give some brief input and then popped them right back in again.
She is feisty, fierce, and ferocious. She has the heart of a servant, yet leads with grounded, determined strength. She is somehow mysterious, quiet, and private - yet fully shares her heart with those around her.
Yesterday, she was scheduled to work at 7am. After seeing Kat and Gabby off at 4:30am - I set my alarm to be ready to drop her off on time. The ride to work - not a word. Silence…
An hour later, she asked to be picked up as her work was cancelled because of the rain and flooding on the golf course. Back out again in the rain I went, only to pick up the chattiest teenager around. I realized at that moment - she was all mine.
She should have been working, and could not have anything else on her schedule for the next few hours - so I invited her to go out for breakfast. Not something we get to do that often…
We arrived at the packed diner only to find all the tables taken. She took a seat on the bench by the door and immediately we were invited by a middle aged man to join him at his table. I felt stuck. Uncomfortable. He seemed to have had a rough night and could probably have used a bit more coffee… . Hmmm… for more than one reason - I gently thanked him and we declined sitting with him.
He asked if we could help him find an address on our phones. Immediate success - another invitation to join him and this time he practically begged. He said he would buy our breakfast… I can’t quite describe here all the mixed up thoughts and feelings going through my head and heart - but utilizing even a dash of imagination will probably cover the majority.
Back to the bench we went… Leah whispered, “Mommy, I think he’s just plain old lonely.” She’s sixteen. Innocent. Naive. Beautiful.
“I know, love, but… I think it would be best for it to be just you and me.”
“Mom. He is just lonely. I think it’s fine to sit with him.”
We didn’t… I don’t know if that was right or wrong - I just couldn’t bring myself to even figure it out. For the next forty-five minutes, I ate and she rambled… about this and that - this friend and that friend. Some stuff she’s struggling with - things she is happy about… forty-five minutes of non-stop, sixteen year-old, honest, unfiltered chatter. It’s my favorite kind of conversation...
In the middle of it, the older gentleman from earlier quietly left. I felt guilty.
The waitress came to fill our coffee mugs, “The gentleman that just left paid for your meal.”
Leah turned to me and nodded, “Mom… he was lonely. So now you have to pay it forward…” It’s this quality of fairness and integrity that makes her so very special. A quiet strength. A quiet faith.
Her heart lives to share - to live and be fully alive. She carries a beauty and vibrancy wherever she goes. She changes the environment of every space. She lives to share…
Her heart. Her possessions. Her family. Her friends… At breakfast I asked her about a particular relationship and how that person treated her. She beamed with genuine joy, not gushy, arrogant, or self-centered… She responded - “Momma, they are so good to me. They care for me and for others so well. I am so proud to be their friend…”
I nodded and smiled… I reminded her of how she has chosen her friends well over the years. … How she has shared her friends and not monopolized relationships. And in doing this, she has not only built good relationships for herself - but has set the stage for others to have good and healthy relationships as well.
Our breakfast time came to an end too soon… It was time to share her with the world.
Today, like every other Sunday, we gathered at Nanny’s house for dinner. The little cousins flocked to her like a mother hen with her chicks… they practically never leave her side. Nanny asked for help and Leah was first to respond with genuine care and grace. Sandwiched together in a heap of love - she shares herself, her heart, her faith, her friends.
I am so proud to call her mine - if only for a season…
