May 2nd, 2021
For as long as I can remember, I’m always a little awestruck this time every year. It seems wherever I turn, the vibrancy of life is practically bursting forth from every nook and cranny. The barren branches of winter have passed through the miraculous and are now fairly teeming with life. Seeds, blown and tossed by the wind, have come to rest and set up residence wherever they have fallen.
As a gardener, I can’t help but pause to watch the mysterious transformation of seedling to plant - nowhere close to mature and complete... but miraculous nonetheless.
Along my morning walk today, I paused for a moment, to take in the beauty of spring. The vibrant colors set against the million shades of green.
Words like hope, patience, joy, and wonder flowed through my mind.
And yet as I stood a bit longer other pieces of reality seemed to slowly sink like a blanket - threatening to overshadow the beauty.
Hidden from my initial view, was the rusted out farm equipment abandoned and buried by time and weeds. Perhaps it became outdated and that’s where it came to rest or maybe there’s a story hidden in the weeds about a farmer who tried their hand at farming and failed...
Poison ivy waved its three glossy leaves wildly in the wind - ridiculously healthy and flourishing, while the blue sky provided a stunning backdrop behind the small little forest of thirty foot trees which had finally succumbed to disease overwinter and now showed no sign of life.
In the midst of brilliant ALIVE, came words like decay, failure, loss, and futile.
I’m not quite sure why I’m sometimes jolted by these conflicting realities in my everyday life… To awaken to birds happily chirping, while the alarm clock blares through the serene... Or sweet smelling baked goods, fresh from the oven in the same kitchen where I find myself arguing with a teenager.
Or birth and death on the same day. One coming, the other leaving...
Walking through the valley of the shadow of death - but fearing no evil.
The Cross of Christ suffering and His glorious resurrection.
It’s not hard to spot the conflicting realities surrounding me on every side. Sometimes my heart wants to tip the scales and see only good, other times the glass is surely half-empty. And this tipping and weighing, this back and forth blowing, this moment by moment saga... wears me thin.
But God knew I would be prone to blow like clouds of pollen on this windy spring day, willing to plant myself whenever I would land. So He said,
“Fix your eyes…”
“Follow Me…”
“Be strong and courageous…”
“The Truth will set you free…”
And so as I continue to rub my itchy eyes after a glorious day outside, I am grateful my Creator knew my limitations… packed into the privilege of free will - He makes Himself available to wrestle through these thoughts…
