Day Sixteen - April 16, 2020
Today I awoke to Kat loudly hissing at me to get up… “Can’t you hear Nanny calling you?!” “No… actually, I was sound asleep!” There are certain shifts for which I’m just about useless… and that would be the overnight watch - especially after a few nights in a row!
My little pup came to pick me up with her Papa for her early morning walk - full of love and excitement! The sunrise was beautiful and reminded me again and again… this earth is not our eternal home.
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After helping my mom settle into a comfortable place this morning, I made my way home to Andrei and the kids… There’s something so special about walking back into the place I call - home. Yes, at times it’s a bit crazy and chaotic, messy and disorganized - sometimes it’s a downright battle zone for one reason or another. But for my family and me, it’s a beautiful space that looks like Grand Central Station with all sorts of people coming and going - day in and day out. These days, though, it’s just the five of us and our pup, Nellie.
Something feels as though it shifted earlier this week in our home… It reminds me of the time the kids and I drove across the country - and then north into British Columbia where we met Andrei who flew to meet us. We were on the road for about a month - the majority of time it was just the kids and I. Prior to leaving, stress was running high and although I was excited to embark on the adventure - I started to panic about the drive.
The kids seemed to find everything and anything to argue about and I was convinced one of the them was most likely going to be left at a rest stop! The first day was ok… a bit bumpy. Long… We rolled into our hotel room later than we anticipated - conquering Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana. Day Two we awoke, had breakfast and hit the road running… only to discover we would spend the next five days trying to outrun tornadoes. Some days the rain and wind was so strong, we had no choice but to pull over and wait out the storm.
One morning, in particular, we started out early enough but by 9am - the sky was almost black, the rain so heavy I could barely see, and we couldn’t find a safe place to pull over. I remember looking in my rear view mirror at two sets of panicked eyes and one set in the front seat trying to navigate with no cell service… and I knew - this was my battle to lead. No papa was going to spring out from thin air and rescue us… I was going to be the one to find shelter until the storm passed.
I think we crawled along the highway until we came to the first exit which led to the smallest town we had ever visited - to where we saw lights on at a local diner. We shut off the van and took off running through the rain. I know we looked ridiculous to the locals as we brushed off our soaking wet clothes and made our way to a booth in the way back of the diner. As we sat down, the waitress joined us in our booth asking where we were from, what could she get us, how did we like our trip so far… chattering with excitement!
To be honest, I think we stayed there for well over two hours… I let the kids order anything they wanted (something I rarely ever do!)... so many orders of hot chocolate and hashbrowns later - we gathered ourselves and climbed back into the van… setting off for Chicago once again.
This was only the first of many stops we were forced to make along that trip. Something was up with the weather that year and apparently we chose just the right time to coincide with tornadoes moving through the area.
But something shifted after that first wild restaurant stop… we learned something about ourselves and about being together. We survived. Initially, there was such fear and terror as we tried to make our way to safety, followed by warm conversations, hot chocolate and hashbrowns… But an awareness settled down inside of us… we eventually realized - it was going to be ok. We might run into another storm - but we were together.
Eventually we lost count of the storms… Eventually we would see the black clouds looming hundreds of miles ahead in the distance and knew - it was only a matter of time before we drove straight into the wild weather. We found an app to track real-time radar and weather and felt quite savvy when we made it to a rest area just as the hail began to pelt down on us. It was an adventure, for sure!
The funny thing is that if you ask our kids about the weather along that trip - they really just remember that first storm in amazing detail. The rest are a blur of hunkering down in rest areas, parking lots, shelters, bridges…
At times over the past month or so, I feel a bit like I’m sitting in that front seat of the van during that encounter with our first tornado. Many pairs of eyes looking at me - asking silent questions, worried, wondering… and I’m aware - this is my battle to fight... directed by the Holy Spirit...
And so as the questions roll in, the answers are few. Questions about the future, school, sports, vacation, next school year… questions about money and friends not able to work. Questions about fear and medicine, death. Questions about normalcy and God…
So many questions - with only the simplest of answers… “I do not know... I really don’t. But what DO we know?”
A faithful and just God watches. HIDDEN at times behind the storm. He reaches His hand to fulfill His promise to seek and save the lost. To bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. THIS is our God and we trust Him -- in this storm…. In all.
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Psalm 147
Praise the Lord!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting.
The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
The Lord lifts up the humble;
he casts the wicked to the ground.
Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
make melody to our God on the lyre!
He covers the heavens with clouds;
he prepares rain for the earth;
he makes grass grow on the hills.
He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.
Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem!
Praise your God, O Zion!
For he strengthens the bars of your gates;
he blesses your children within you.
He makes peace in your borders;
he fills you with the finest of the wheat.
He sends out his command to the earth;
his word runs swiftly.
He gives snow like wool;
he scatters frost like ashes.
He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs;
who can stand before his cold?
He sends out his word, and melts them;
he makes his wind blow and the waters flow.
He declares his word to Jacob,
his statutes and rules to Israel.
He has not dealt thus with any other nation;
they do not know his rules.
Praise the Lord!”