When God’s Name is Our Refuge – May 2019

May 1

Not every day is gloriously beautiful... just as not everyday is weary and full of trouble.

There are some days when my role as mother, wife, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, neighbor, etc overlap and become a tangled web of chaotic mess.

I think most women can relate to this in some way or another.

But there are some times when we are faced with a completely unexpected trial and our usual daily chaotic mess looks like a walk in the park.

Like the day my mom fell and broke so many of her bones leaving her so fragile and weak. Or the day when there was no heartbeat for our second child at 14 weeks into our pregnancy. Or the day I found out my parents were getting a divorce. Or the day my best friend lost her little one in an accident.

These days... they come. And I weep and cry.

Here I am... broken and raw. Aware of my need for strength to return.

I am still and quietly desperate. And while I am surrounded by love and comfort, my soul cries out from the depths. I am in need. Jehovah, will you hear me! Will you turn your face towards me and give me peace?

So often we can find ourselves at extremes... glorious highs and unimaginable lows. The storms seem to come when we least expect them. They wreak havoc on our seemingly stable lives and we are plunged into chaos and trouble.

In these moments, can we turn and look for our good Father... Can we lift our eyes and seek our Creator... The One who formed us in our mother’s womb. The One who has plans for a future and a purpose written out for us before we were one day old. Our great God!

And yet sometimes our prayers cannot reach our lips. They are stuck between a desperate sob and a broken heart. Oh we know He is good... but to form the words of a prayer at times feels seemingly impossible. Our mind knows He is good. Our heart cries out to follow. Our soul weeps with pain, while our body fades with sorrow.

And it is in these moments... these brief seconds of intense struggle where we must grit our teeth and call forth truth. To speak back God’s name... to speak back His name that hope may rise.

Yes it might begin in silence... with tears streaming, fists clenched, hunched over with gut wrenching sobs. But can you say his name? “Oh God, my refuge.” What is it that you need??

“My Rock. My Deliverer. My Comfort. My Portion. My Everlasting, Never-Ending Father.” Speak until that great miracle of hope begins to spring forth... like a trickle of life support hung like a drip IV into your weary veins.

Declare His name over and over, knowing that the power of His name breaks every chain.

“Jehovah Jireh, Messiah, Immanuel - God with Us.”

“My Healer, Savior, My Peace.”

And yes, the circumstances may not change but we change. We are transformed to know Him through our suffering. When we speak truth to our storm - God is able to move Heaven and Earth.

Lamentations 3 speaks all about trouble, affliction, sorrow and pain. After pouring out his heart to our Almighty God... He settles down into truth.

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him’.”

Lamentations 3:21-24 NIV

So be at peace, dear ones... speak to your trouble. Declare the name of your God however silently or loudly as you are able. And may you rise up... Faithful. Changed. Renewed.