Respite Care

Respite Care

Tonight, is the first night I’ve slept here - on “Nanny Island”without her also - sleeping in her bed…
just down the hall.

We have been granted a week of inpatient respite care to rest and reset.

All of us…

Nanny…
My family of five…
Her immediate family of twenty…
And the entire village who drops by…
Week after week.

We were given a three month life expectancy at the sudden onset of this hospice journey - and we’re headed into nine.

Some days feel like an eternity -
as we both cringe and await
ETERNITY.

Some days are blissful blessings -
as we both laugh and cry
seemingly in the same breath.

And some days are frightening and frustrating… as we muddle along to figure things out.

I remember, when our kids were little, well-meaning people would remind us, “Enjoy your kiddos while they’re young… They grow up so quickly…”

And while they were right, it always felt just a little annoying. I often felt frustrated and overwhelmed by the chaos of having three little ones right in a row…

I couldn’t quite figure out a rhythm for most days…

And they grew and matured -
And so did I…

And slowly -
Together…
We learned -
the unforced rhythms
of GRACE.

And that’s how these past nine months have been…

Slowly -
Together…
Learning -
The unforced rhythms
of GRACE.

When the medical transportor picked her up this morning and popped her into the back of the ambulance - I knew she was well taken care of.

We had packed
And prepped
And medicated
And rested
And rehearsed
The PLAN.

But I did not expect
my heart to break or
my tears to keep falling
all day long…

That was not in the PLAN.

Beautiful, kind, and well-meaning people remind us all the time, “Enjoy her while you can…. Someday, you’ll wish for these days again…”

And just for today
(And not in the PLAN…)
The curtain parted
And she was not here
To sleep in her bed
On Nanny’s Island.

And yes, it’s a week -
And we fully expect her to return…
Here, to her home.

But, tonight, I have been given
a dear and precious gift…

The gift of -
PERSPECTIVE
CLARITY
GRACE…

To step back, just for a moment -
from the monotonous and mundane…

And slowly…
Together
Learn again…
The unforced rhythms
of GRACE.

God -

Always leaning towards us
Loving us deeply
Sustaining us fully
Caring for us wholly

And we grow and mature -
Because of Him…